Max: Mom, how old will I be when Reuben is ten?
Me: Well, you’re four years older than Reuben, so you’ll be…
Me: *sigh* Yeah, you’ll be 14. Hanging out with your friends all the time at the mall….. probably starting to talk
me into getting you a car….
Max: Yeah, well, I’ll need a sweet ride to take out my girlfriend.
Me: Of course.
Max: So, Mom, which days do you like better? The Old Days or These Days?
Max: I think San Francisco has a silent ‘d’.
Me: What? Why would you think that?
Max: You know, because I don’t hear a ‘d’ in there.
Max: I wish I could poop toys.
LOUD CRASH from upstairs
Me: (Yelling up from downstairs) What the heck was that?!
Max: (Yelling down from upstairs) Oh, nothing important!
Max: That squirrel is watching me.
Me: Yeah, sometimes they do that. Creepy squirrels – they look like they are about to attack you sometimes.
Max: Well, against a human, the squirrel couldn’t win in a fight. Now, if you had a whole bunch of squirrels, you know like a swarm of squirrels, then the human probably wouldn’t survive.
Me: How many squirrels are in a swarm?
Max: Like ten, maybe nine at the least.
(after an in-depth discussion of the weakened postal service industry…)
Me: So, Max, as we were saying, the postal industry is not doing that great. They might even have to cancel Saturday mail!
Max: Yeah, and I bet the postal boss is in the back saying ‘I want more money!’ You know because bosses usually are like that – they always want more money. You know, like Mr. Krabbs.