Monthly Archives: November 2011

Animal Cruelty

Max: Wait, so there are flying reindeer?

Me: Well….. supposedly they pull Santa’s sleigh.

Max: So, Santa kidnaps and captures flying reindeer and whips them so that they pull his sleigh? Cool!

Me: It’s amazing how you just made Santa’s reindeer an emergency case for PETA.

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No, really, I actually care

Me: Do you think I am forcing you to wear a heavy jacket today to be mean? Or do you think it might be because it’s cold out and I care about you so I want you to be warm?

Max: Wait, what was the first one again?

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Holiday Shopping

Me: You know, all I want is just a little respect around here!

Max: Well, maybe you should put that on your Chanukah list.

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Fairy Tales

Me: So, if you eat regular beans and you get regular farts, do you get magic farts if you eat magic beans?

Max: No, you get a beanstalk growing out of your butt.

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Literal

Me: (after Max comes dangerously close to whacking me in the face with his head) OK, that’s it! You’ve gone too far!

Max: Don’t you mean, I’ve come too close?

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More Wishes

Me: Max, that’s it! I am shutting off the t.v. until you have eaten more of your dinner.

Max: (slight pause as he chews….) Wish I had a back-up t.v.

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No argument here

Me: You know, it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world if your room was clean.

Max: No, the worst thing in the world would be the earth blowing up.

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