Max: Wait, so there are flying reindeer?
Me: Well….. supposedly they pull Santa’s sleigh.
Max: So, Santa kidnaps and captures flying reindeer and whips them so that they pull his sleigh? Cool!
Me: It’s amazing how you just made Santa’s reindeer an emergency case for PETA.
Me: Do you think I am forcing you to wear a heavy jacket today to be mean? Or do you think it might be because it’s cold out and I care about you so I want you to be warm?
Max: Wait, what was the first one again?
Me: You know, all I want is just a little respect around here!
Max: Well, maybe you should put that on your Chanukah list.
Me: So, if you eat regular beans and you get regular farts, do you get magic farts if you eat magic beans?
Max: No, you get a beanstalk growing out of your butt.
Me: (after Max comes dangerously close to whacking me in the face with his head) OK, that’s it! You’ve gone too far!
Max: Don’t you mean, I’ve come too close?
Me: Max, that’s it! I am shutting off the t.v. until you have eaten more of your dinner.
Max: (slight pause as he chews….) Wish I had a back-up t.v.
Me: You know, it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world if your room was clean.
Max: No, the worst thing in the world would be the earth blowing up.
On the way to DJ’s party….
Max: I really wish I was DJ.
Me: Oh, because it’s his birthday today?
Max: Yeah….. And because he’s way taller than me.