Monthly Archives: January 2012

The Force is Strong in this One

Me: You don’t like Mrs. (teacher whose name shall be withheld)? I think she’s very nice.

Max: That’s because you haven’t seen her dark side.

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…NOT that there’s anything wrong with that!

Max: Mom, can men marry men?

Me: Um… well it’s not legal in most states yet, but sure. Why? Who do you want to marry?

Max: My dad.

Me: Well, usually people get married when they like kissing each other a lot. And, maybe they want to have babies together…

Max: OK, NEW THEORY – I AM NEVER MARRYING MY DAD!

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Don’t Scratch That

Max: MOM! Can you come here??

Me: Hey, what’s the matter?

Max: Well, I sort of have this red bump on my leg.

Me: (after examining it carefully) Well, it could be a bug bite, or just some kind of irritation. I’ll put some cream on it…

Max: Well, the thing is that there is this kind of bug that I heard about, that sort of bites you and then it sort of crawls inside you and starts eating your flesh from the inside out.

Me: (desperately trying to control laughter) And, so do you think that is what bit you? A flesh eating bug?

Max: Well, I’m thinking it could be.

Me: But, that sounds pretty painful, being eaten from the inside out, right? You don’t feel that kind of pain right now, do you?

Max: Well, I am feeling some kind of veins popping out of my leg right now…

Me: OK, let me get a stronger cream….

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Oh Rats

While watching ‘Muppet’s Treasure Island’….
Muppet (on screen): That is ridiculous! What’s next? A singing and dancing mouse who has his own amusement park??

Me: Heh heh. You know who they are talking about, right Max?

Max: Um, Chuck E. Cheese?

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A Rare Sweet One..

As he hands me a homemade Chanukah craft from Hebrew school…
Max: Here Mom, I made this for you. And, I hid a little love inside it.

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