Monthly Archives: February 2012

That is Bull.

Me:  So,  my sister said that when we visit her in Houston, we can see the rodeo!

Max:  Awesome! Are those with bulls or cows?

Me:  Bulls. But, you know bulls are the boy versions of cows.

Max: I’d rather be a bull than a cow! Which would you rather be?

Me:  (slight hesitation, thinking that neither one sounds especially appealing…) Ummmm…

Max: REALLY? You’d rather be a fat cow with people pulling on your vagina all day long?

(a brief lesson in cow anatomy follows…)

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Priceless.

Me: God, I don’t know what to do with your brother! He is not listening to a word I say and he’s driving me crazy! What do you think, Max? What do I have to do?

Max: Sell him.

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OMMMMM…..

While working out to a new yoga DVD….

Max: Mom, you’ve got to FEEL the burn! Really FEEL it!

Me: I am! I’m feeling it!

Max: No, you’re not – I can tell from here on the couch that you’re not really FEELING it!

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To Each His Own….

Max: Why does that little girl want to give her DOLL some candy?

Me:  Well, some little girls are into dolls – you know, they treat them like their babies.

Max:  Hmmm.. I’d rather have an octopus.

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Lost in Translation

Max: So, I’m teaching a class later.

Me: You are? At our house?

Max: Yeah. Do you want to come?

Me: Sure! What is the class on?

Max: How to speak Arabic.

Me: Oh! Sounds great!

Max: Yup, just take my class and you’ll be speaking Arabic as good as me!

Me: But, you’re speaking English.

Max: Well, the class didn’t start yet.

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Ha.

(After telling a fairly corny joke)

Me: So, didn’t you think that was funny?

Max: Yes.

Me: Well, then, why aren’t you laughing?

Max: I don’t always laugh at things that are funny. Sometimes, I just smile a little.

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