Me: So, my sister said that when we visit her in Houston, we can see the rodeo!
Max: Awesome! Are those with bulls or cows?
Me: Bulls. But, you know bulls are the boy versions of cows.
Max: I’d rather be a bull than a cow! Which would you rather be?
Me: (slight hesitation, thinking that neither one sounds especially appealing…) Ummmm…
Max: REALLY? You’d rather be a fat cow with people pulling on your vagina all day long?
(a brief lesson in cow anatomy follows…)
Me: God, I don’t know what to do with your brother! He is not listening to a word I say and he’s driving me crazy! What do you think, Max? What do I have to do?
Max: Sell him.
While working out to a new yoga DVD….
Max: Mom, you’ve got to FEEL the burn! Really FEEL it!
Me: I am! I’m feeling it!
Max: No, you’re not – I can tell from here on the couch that you’re not really FEELING it!
Max: Why does that little girl want to give her DOLL some candy?
Me: Well, some little girls are into dolls – you know, they treat them like their babies.
Max: Hmmm.. I’d rather have an octopus.
Max: So, I’m teaching a class later.
Me: You are? At our house?
Max: Yeah. Do you want to come?
Me: Sure! What is the class on?
Max: How to speak Arabic.
Me: Oh! Sounds great!
Max: Yup, just take my class and you’ll be speaking Arabic as good as me!
Me: But, you’re speaking English.
Max: Well, the class didn’t start yet.
(After telling a fairly corny joke)
Me: So, didn’t you think that was funny?
Me: Well, then, why aren’t you laughing?
Max: I don’t always laugh at things that are funny. Sometimes, I just smile a little.